


One's Nice, Two's Better

by jujitsuelf



Category: The Losers (2010), The Losers (Comic), The Losers - All Media Types
Genre: M/M, drunk Losers, mention of blowjobs and threesomes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-03
Updated: 2013-09-03
Packaged: 2017-12-25 12:17:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 714
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/952993
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jujitsuelf/pseuds/jujitsuelf
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Drunken Losers, always a recipe for chaos and horny shenanigans</p>
            </blockquote>





	One's Nice, Two's Better

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer – All publicly recognizable characters, settings etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended
> 
> ****  
> Inspired by the fabulous line 'I'm seeing double right now so when we get home, can we have a threesome?' - taken from Texts From Last Night, one of my most favourite websites in the world!

Being the designated driver on a night out with any of the Losers was always bound to be amusing. When it was a bar crawl with the whole team, it descended into sheer farce.

Cougar sipped at his Coke and smiled faintly as Pooch tried and failed, repeatedly, to text Jolene and tell her what a good time he was having.

“Cougs, this make sense?” he slurred, thrusting the phone under Cougar’s nose.

“No.” Cougar shook his head. “Too many z’s and x’s. Try again.”

“’kay,” cradling his phone to his chest like it was a delicate baby bird, Pooch weaved off back toward Clay and the bar.

Roque generally fell silent as he reached the really drunk stage. At that moment, he was sitting in a booth, glaring at everyone in the bar. Cougar attempted to catch his eye, succeeded, and wished he hadn’t bothered. The cold stare he got was enough to make even the bravest of men turn tail and run.

Clay was trying to chat up the pretty bartender. Ah, that explained Roque’s death-glare then. There was very little in the world more frightening than a man highly trained in the art of killing people who was also insanely jealous and wouldn’t admit it. Cougar pinched the bridge of his nose. If Roque and Clay would just sort their shit out, things would be a lot easier for everyone. He and Jensen had managed it, hadn’t they?

Speaking of Jensen, where was he? Cougar peered into the corners of the room, knowing Jake’s liking for having his back to the wall when he was drunk. Bright blond hair shone briefly, there he was. Gripping his Coke tightly, even though it wasn’t alcoholic, Cougar would not stand for anyone stealing a drink of his, he made his way toward his wayward tech.

“Cougs!” Jake lurched forward and flung an arm around Cougar’s shoulder. “How are you doin’, man?”

“Fine,” Cougar replied. “How drunk?”

“I’m no’ drunk,” Jensen said, scandalized. He hiccupped. “Okay, maybe a lil’ drunk.”

“Home?” Cougar asked, downing his Coke.

Jensen looked at him thoughtfully, his head cocked to one side. “Ya know, I’m kinda seeing double right now so when we get home, you think we could have a threesome?” His face went blank as he obviously thought about porn. “God, just imagine what two of you could do...you’d just bang the hell out of me...” He frowned. “If I think about sex with another you, does that mean I’m cheating? Does mental infidelity with a phantom you count?”

Cougar just looked at him, not quite able to believe that he’d somehow fallen for someone quite so batshit as Jake Jensen.

“Oh God,” Jake gripped Cougar’s arm so hard he winced. “Think of the blowjobs. I could do you and other you could do me...” He made a noise which was dangerously close to a moan. “We need to leave now. I think I might embarrass myself.”

“You do know there’s only one of me, right, Jake?” Cougar steadied Jensen as he stumbled.

“Duh,” Jake slapped him upside the head. Cougar growled but let it slide.

Clay grinned at him as he and Jake staggered toward the door. “Well done, soldiers.”

“You gonna be okay to get home?” Cougar asked, torn between doing his designated driver duty and getting Jake somewhere private to fuck his brains out.

“Yeah, fine,” Clay waved a nonchalant hand. “We can get a ride. No problem.”

“Don’t let Pooch drive,” Cougar warned.

“Got it.” Clay nodded seriously. “Now go do...whatever it is you do when I’m not looking and I really don’t want to know.”

“Yes, Boss,” Cougar grinned.

“Yes, sir!” Jensen chimed in happily.

****

After pouring Jake into the car, Cougar drove home perhaps a little faster than he usually did. Not that’d he’d ever admit it to Jake, but the mental image of the younger man being well and truly fucked by two of himself was hotter than hell.

Sadly, Cougar’s libido had to back off and take a cold shower when they finally reached home. Jake had slid down halfway into the passenger footwell and was snoring softly, his mouth slack and open as it was when he was deeply asleep.

Cougar wrinkled his nose and sighed. “Mierda.”


End file.
